margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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