xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize