Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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