I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
