Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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