your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The police scanner is talking about you again....
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
this is an emotional support booty call
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
