do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
