My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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