what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
