Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Church boner. Awkwardddd
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
