..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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