Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
That reminds me...we need to get swords
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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