there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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