Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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