Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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