The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
