between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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