i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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