Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
