The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
