So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Can I color on your dick again?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
