he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
