Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
