I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
