do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
