What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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