We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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