I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
