How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
