There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
