Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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