saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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