we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
