maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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