glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
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MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
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