I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
