Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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