Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
