I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
