i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
two words: eviction party
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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