the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
