I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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