Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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