WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
as a side note pls kill me
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
