So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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