I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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