But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
you had me at cake vodka
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
