It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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