just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
