I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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