if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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